Is constant daydreaming normal? No. Constant daydreaming is not normal. Constant daydreaming is not healthy. If you’re constantly daydreaming it means:-

1. You are not living in the present.
2. You are probably not doing work or schoolwork to the best of the ability.
3. You are ignoring your friendships and relationships as you’re spending to much time in your fantasy world that you’ve built up in your mind.

If you’ve come to this page you’ve probably typed in something like “constantly daydreaming” or “can’t stop daydreaming” into Google to try and understand what is going on.

I’ve been there. Nearly a year ago I suddenly just started daydreaming. And when I say daydreaming, I mean not just here and there but all day long. All the time. My mind could not shut it off. I was daydreaming whilst watching TV, I couldn’t even read a book as my daydreams were far more pleasurable so what was the point?

Am I describing you?

If you are going through this for the first time, I know it feels very weird, you at first have no idea what is going on. Why has your mind suddenly latched onto constantly daydreaming? Why do you need to keep on daydreaming the same things until you perfect them in your mind? Why do you suddenly have all these vivid conversations and plot lines and characters? Well if you’re new to this, there is a term that neatly describes what you’re going through and it’s maladaptive daydreaming. 

Maladaptive daydreaming also known as immersive daydreaming, is basically when you are daydreaming so much it starts to interfere in your life in a negative way. Maladaptive daydreaming is an addiction, you’re addicted to all the pleasurable emotions that your characters are feeling. You know its unhealthy and you know you need to stop but the pull is just too great. I mean lets face it, it’s instant gratification. If you can suddenly feel loved, confident and happy on tap, why on earth would you want to give that up? That’s what makes this affliction so hard to break.

Why are you constantly daydreaming?

Well if you’re constantly daydreaming (maladaptive daydreaming) then you are probably using this as a coping mechanism to avoid feeling anxious, stressed, or to avoid reliving old trauma.  It’s a form of escapism. A highly addictive form of escapism.

How do I stop constantly daydreaming?

Well that’s the million dollar question isn’t it? How do we stop immersive daydreaming? From all my research and scouring forums, people have stopped this daydreaming addiction. But it’s not easy. Nearly all ex maladaptive daydreamers have said to end this they have had to:

1. Brutally stop and let the anxiety and all the negative feelings wash over you. You basically need to confront why your subconscious started this in the first place. What are the causes? Don’t shy away from this. My therapist told me (this is my homework this week) to stop daydreaming for one day, let the anxiety come as an anxiety attack won’t last forever (her words not mine) and let your mind/body tell you what the matter is. I’ll be frank with you. I haven’t managed to stop daydreaming for a day. My mind won’t let me and I don’t want to. But I know if I want this to end it’s what I’m going to have to do.

2. Get busy. Do a new course or class. Challenge yourself to do something new. Start to make new friends and connections so you don’t feel lonely. Do something active where you have to engage your mind like tennis or a dance class so you can’t daydream. Again, I haven’t managed to do this either yet. However, I can see how this helps. And you may have better luck and more self control than me.

3. See a therapist or talk to your doctor

Talking about this daydreaming addiction to a trained professional can only help. I’m  on session 3 with a therapist and it is nice to actually be understood by somebody and have somebody who will listen.

Do you have a question?

If you have a question or want to offer advice please just leave a comment below. Otherwise please email me on: [email protected] I’m happy to help and listen.

Best wishes,

Anna x